I have undertaken a life changing challenge and opportunity to convert to Judaism. I am happy with my life, and am pleased and at peace with the place my heart has gone.
I have made some nice Jewish friends, and have begun to follow weekly Pasha readings and am studying Talmud on my own. I would like to be in a Talmud study group, but so far I am not.
I haven't evolved to what kind of Jew I will be. Sometimes I think I will be Conservative, and sometimes I think I will be some kind of hybrid California Jew like Neil Diamond.
My sense of humor has improved, as I am often in many awkward and humorous positions relating to my conversion process.
Today I told the cook where I work that I would like to decline his offer of pork chops smothered in some kind of pecan glaze. He was disappointed until I explained that I was in conversion, and that while I am not living a completely Kosher life just yet, I am at least laying off the Treif animals.
Its funny,, I have yet until this moment neglected to thank even in my own mind the Rabbi who helped me in my fragile earliest days. His name is Arnold Bienstock. I talked with him several times, and when I asked him whether or not I was actually in conversion, or just in a curious stage, he told me that I was in fact, in conversion.
That was a very pivotal moment in my life and to have an actual Rabbi declare that I was in conversion somehow gave me the support that pushed me forward through a time that I could have lost energy and momentum.
I guess you are either in conversion or you are not, however there are people you meet who either hinder you or help you, and Rabbi Bienstock really gave me some energy when he declared that I was not just window shopping, but actually in the process of a conversion!
I feel good, and I am proud of the fact that I made this decision entirely of my own volition. There were no third parties pressuring, or manipulating me, or in any way altering my sense of direction.
I am at a cultural impasse regarding how to celebrate Christmas. I have had several friends tell me that as a Jew the Christmas holiday should be forever forgotten and put out of my life.
I have explained to them, that as I have never been any sort of Christian, I always have understood the holiday as a winter time yule holiday with absolutely no religious meaning to me whatsoever, so why then should I reject a perfectly good holiday just because I was converting to Judaism.
I have gotten several answers ranging from the mildly fanatical " Christmas celebrates the birthday of a man for whose death our people have been persecuted for 2 thousand years." To the more reasonable " when you convert to Judaism you promise to raise your future children as Jews, and exposing them to a full blown Christmas in your home will likely confuse them religiously about who they are."
I tend to agree with the second explanation of how Christmas should be viewed. I do plan to have children, and I will raise them as Jews, and I certainly don't want them confused. So while a little yule time cheer, and few catchy songs, and some lights and a few presents and a tree wouldn't confuse or injure me per se, at the point when I have children, I need to cut out all the Christmas propaganda, and keep a Jewish home uncomplicated religiously for the sake of the kids. This I understand.
I always felt the myth of Jesus was less credible than Santa Clause himself, and I have NEVER had any belief or emotional tie to Christianity, but I don't have a heart made of coal, so I always enjoyed our American Santa oriented winter holiday, and frankly, I really like this holiday.
So, I have cut out the Treif animals, I still look forward to Christmas, and I am eagerly studying Talmud. Life is strange and wonderful.
By the way, in my quest for many things Jewish, I ran across a most elegant version of Hava Nagila sung by Harry Belafonte! This song is decorated by someones family slides of their kids and thier wedding, and their lives are most festive! :)
Please click on the link below and enjoy!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tvDQZH2VWhc
On my private road to conversion,
Mike Miller
Indiana, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
First of all Jews have a wintertime holiday of their own and it has eight days of chear and lights and games and catchy songs. Secondly, saying you would do something later, for your kids is both hypocracy and a cop out. If you want Christmas, have Christmas but it is not Jewish in any way shape or form. And in fact, saying you wish to be Jewish but are at the same time unwilling to give up even one day (even at an eight to one exchange rate) just because the thought displeases you, is further hypocracy and cop out.
If you really want to be a Jew and find you are lonely during the holidays, find some Jewish friends to hang out with. If you really want Christmas, you are just playing games with yourself and you would be better off staying with the goyim.
Post a Comment